The anxious/avoidant struggle is surprisingly common. Research suggests that a significant number of couples experience this push-and-pull dynamic where repeated cycles of closeness and withdrawal can create confusion emotional exhaustion, and self-doubt, making it feel far more challenging than it needs to be.

In today’s hyper-connected world, it’s becoming increasingly common for people to spend more time on social media than engaging with their significant other. While this behavior may seem harmless at first glance — just a few minutes scrolling through updates or watching short videos — it can slowly erode the quality of connection in a relationship. The dynamics behind this shift are complex. Social media offers instant gratification, distraction from stress, and the illusion of social interaction. Unlike real-life relationships, which require emotional effort, patience, and vulnerability, social media provides a curated escape where a person can control what they see and how they are seen. This allure can be especially tempting when real-life relationships feel difficult, unfulfilling, or mundane.

When we consistently focus on what’s wrong, on fear, or on how we’ve been wronged, we begin to attract more of the same. Not because life is cruel, but because our mindset filters how we interpret and interact with the world. A negative thought pattern causes us to miss opportunities, expect failure, and radiate energy that repels rather than attracts.

Feeling unattractive is an experience that can sneak up on anyone—regardless of age, gender, or physical appearance. Whether it’s triggered by a glance in the mirror, a social media scroll, or an offhand comment from someone else, these moments of self-doubt can leave deep emotional imprints. Understanding why we sometimes feel this way, how it shapes our behavior, and what we can do to shift our perspective is the first step toward reclaiming a healthier, more compassionate self-image.